I was extremely excited about being an intelligence analyst. That job had been my goal for over 10 years, and I felt that there was nothing left for me to experience if that had fallen through. I entered the special operations community in late 2018. Right after my sister passed unexpectedly, I was drinking more to cope with the stress of that while not dealing with the grief not dealing with the trauma.

Coming forward, admitting that I had these issues, and admitting what was happening to me made me feel like I was putting my job in jeopardy and potentially losing that clearance. After I got back from my second deployment in 2020, the COVID lockdown happened, and I struggled to cope with the isolation. I coped once again with alcohol, and things spiraled out of control.

I had a re-traumatizing event. I voluntarily went to the hospital for that. It was exactly what I needed, even though it was pretty scary. I have no idea what would’ve happened if I hadn’t gone and sought help. My therapy pass had fallen through and we had decided that unless I was facing an acute crisis, my therapy was going to cease.

So, I was lost in the wind at that point. Talking to Steve about Shields & Stripes and what happened to us gave me comfort and peace. The therapy being provided through Shields & Stripes is a deliberate trauma protocol to train your brain to process your trauma so that it’s not disruptive to my professional or personal life anymore.

It’s not available everywhere, and I didn’t have access to it at my base. Now, in the Air Force meeting, the other participants in the Shields & Stripes program have been amazing. It’s been extremely healing. It gives me hope when I leave the program, so somebody’s going to hold me accountable afterwards.

Quotes:

  • “Right after my sister passed unexpectedly, I was drinking more to cope with the stress of that while not dealing with the grief, not dealing with the trauma.”
  • “Admitting that I had these issues… made me feel like I was putting my job in jeopardy and potentially losing that clearance.”
  • “After my second deployment in 2020, the COVID lockdown happened, and I struggled to cope with the isolation.”
  • “I have no idea what would’ve happened if I hadn’t sought help.”
  • “Talking to Steve about Shields & Stripes and about the things that happened to us gave me some comfort and peace.”
  • “The therapy being provided through Shields & Stripes is a deliberate trauma protocol to train your brain, to process your trauma so that it’s not disruptive to my professional or personal life anymore.”
  • “Meeting the other participants in the Shields & Stripes program has been amazing. It’s been extremely healing.”